03 January 2008
Look Mom! I've got wheels!
)Published on January 3rd, 2008 @ 03:23:15 pm, using 793 words, 95 views
Ok… Why is it that people can be so lacking in logical thought? Why is it so difficult to look at any given situation, consider the obvious, and choose a course of action in at least a somewhat logical manner?
I was walking down the street. Downtown Ottawa. Major street…
There is a parking lot at a major intersection which I walk by every day on my way to work. This parking lot has one exit/entrance on the north side. The other sides are either bordered by large buildings, or by a combination of 2foot concrete blocks and steel posts with 1″ steel cable running between it.
In this parking lot there was a van, and in the van a moron…
This bright young individual, had decided that he was going to leave said parking lot… Where the logic breaks down completely is that he decided to leave through the west exit directly onto the major street. Rather than the northern exit onto the less busy street. He was likely in a hurry… This normally wouldn’t violate logic for most people. Except the first thing that his brain recieves from his eyes, is a 2 and a half foot tall snowbank between him and his destination. This is because THERE IS NO WEST EXIT… But he somehow managed to rationalize his decision and accelerated west anyway.
The second thing he failed to consider, or that somehow slipped through his logic, is the numerous steel posts every few feet, which have a 1 inch steel cable running between them… This ALSO is between him and his destination, and is clearly sticking out of said snowbank and visible to the naked eye… (perhaps he should have his vision checked).
And lastly, he failed to consider the large 2 foot concrete blocks… Which were completely buried under these snowbanks. At least these weren’t directly visible at the time.
Anyway, so I am walking down this street, and I suddenly see this minivan parked sideways in the middle of the northbound lane blocking all traffic. It’s front end is all smashed to hell, and under the front bumper the car is hung up on a large 2 foot concrete block that it had dragged probably 10 feet into the road. The drivers side tire was wrapped up in a large steel cable, which was stretched from some steel posts behind it, past a couple posts that had been torn out of the ground and were dangling a couple feet on either side of the car, to a couple of solid ones further out still attached to the cable. The front of the van was covered in snow, and there were some nice tire marks leading across the sidewalk, into the parking lot described above. As I approach this vehicle on the sidewalk, there is a young man (probably about 20 years old) on his cellphone looking rather distraught…
As I walk past I am just in time to hear him say into the cellphone “Hi Mom, I need you to come downtown and help me out… I kinda had a little accident with the van…” and I proceeded to burst out laughing…
That moment totally made my day.
And so once again, I ask: Why is it so hard to apply logic to a given situation? I mean this guy was sitting behind the wheel. He backed out to face a DIFFERENT direction than the one he came in through. He then looked forward past a 2 and a half foot snowbank, with steel posts sticking out of it and heavy steel cable running between them. Past the snowbank you can see a sidewalk, with a curb, and no visible lowered curb, ramp, or any other form of exit. He then decided “I should go this way” and accelerated… (apparently quite quickly to be able to do that much damage to his vehicle, and drag the safety measures (designed to keep people from doing exactly that), into the road by 10 feet)
It’s really scary to consider that we give people like this a license to operate a motor vehicle.
The tests for a drivers license should be augmented to include:
- A hand eye coordination test
- A test of general observation and focus
- An IQ test
- Confirm the ability to reason effectively
Also our police should be given the right to rank the stupidity of an accident from 1 to 10. Anything scoring a 7 or higher should result in an instant suspension of the license until further notice. (and anything ranking a 10 and involving a death should involve removing the offender from the gene pool before he can do more damage, either through stupidity, or by procreating).
How are we ever to defeat the wombat armies with people like this among our ranks?
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