29 January 2008
Flying Bouncing Plates of Butt Turkey Death!
)Published on January 29th, 2008 @ 11:59:44 am, using 449 words, 1568 views
My god…
What were they thinking????
In case you don’t know what I’m talking about (which is likely the case) it has been brought to my attention that a game called “Tattoo Assassins” exists. It was developed in the early 90s as a competitor to the Mortal Kombat series. And was built as an arcade game. This game was never officially released. But a ROM version of it was leaked onto the net, so people could witness it, in all of it’s thuroughly disturbing, and seizure inducing glory…
I give you a good prime example of how troubling this game is… They decided that fatalities (finishing moves) were the key to the Mortal Kombat success… so they proceeded to build in 2196 different fatalities into this game… No I am not kidding… One of them is below… In this one your character bends over, and a large plate of turkey dinner flys out of your butt towards your opponent. When it hits them it sends them flying, then the turkey turns into many plates of turkey that bounce around the screen, and if they hit you they send you flying as well…
…
WHAT THE FUCK????
Ok here’s a pic to demonstrate:
Other highlights are horrible character art, that was digitized, but is so bad it required hand drawing facial hair, eyes, eyebrows and teeth onto the characters, making them creepy and strange…. Bad looking tattoos… HORRIBLE backstory/plot ideas… Not to mention bad animation, wacky sound (and not wacky in a good way…). And some bad character concepts, like the native american guy who is not played by a native american actor, and to make up for it they make him yell “Hi-yah hi-yah” like from a bad old cowboy/indian flick… Or the blatent tonya harding ripoff skater girl who actually somehow wears her skates in a fight, and “Didn’t get into the olympics because one of her adversaries injured her before an event and now she is out to get revenge". I mean I really can’t do this game the injustice that it deserves in my own words… It would take far too long. Luckily others have written a great article showing off all of the horrible glory of this game… You can see a couple great sites with information at:
http://i-mockery.com/minimocks/tattoo-assassins/ (Most images linked from here)
http://www.bunnyears.net/tattoo/ (Good background info on the making of the game and other in depth info)
Oh and here are a selection of images to help illustrate the horror… And lastly at the bottom find a youtube video that shows a good selection of the fatalities and some gameplay…
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